Day 13: Blogging 31 for 21 ::Kia::

Welcome Kia, she blogs over at Good Enough Mama, and I gotta say, she's feckin' funny y'all!

For my blog readers would you mind telling a little about who you are and how you became a parent of a special needs child?

I'm Kia. My son, Little Man, is 4 and was recently diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. It's probably cliche to say it, but I always knew there was something "different" about my boy. It took 4 years to find a professional who took us seriously and gave a name to what was making life difficult for my son, but I knew from the beginning that something was up.

When did your mama intuition kick in and tell you that something wasn't just quite as it should be with LM?

Oops. I guess I kind of answered this one already. I think though, that once I got over my worry about being an over-reactive first-time-mom, I knew that Little Man needed more help than I could give him by the time he was 3. His anxiety and stress were so much more than a 3 year old should have to deal with.

What do you struggle with most as a parent of a child whose disabilities are not visible?

I struggle with the urge to explain my son's behaviour, versus the attitude that it doesn't matter what others think and if they're not willing to learn about my kid, it's their loss. I HATE it when others look at Little Man and tell us that he'll "grow out of it," or we just need to "expose him to the things he fears". I get pissed off when people stare in public places if my kid is having one of his melt-downs. Here's a tip for the world at large: When you're out in public and you see a child having a tantrum or acting completely out of control? LOOK THE OTHER WAY. I know you want to watch. It's human nature to be curious. But don't. Just don't. Please look the other way.

How do others (ie: family, strangers) deal with LM's issues?

Our family is mostly understanding. There is one family member who has declared herself the Bearer of All Knowledge, but she can find a lemon and suck it. I'm pretty sure she knows I feel this way. Friends TRY to understand, but mostly they don't. If I'm being completely honest, I get tired of the suggestions and the advice. None of my family or friends has experienced this themselves. I feel a little bit, since Little Man was diagnosed, like my friends are "afraid" to be with us. I worry that we've become too much like "work" for our friends. Too much hassle. We can't see friends with babies because Little Man is afraid of them. We can't see friends with pets, because Little Man is afraid of them. We can't see friends whose children are too loud or whose children don't understand that Little Man is very possessive of his personal space... The list goes on. We're work. Because I know we're work, I tend to avoid friends' houses where I know we will be a LOT of work. Some of my friendships are suffering. I'm hoping that we will make it to the other side of this and still be friends.

What makes you happy?

My boy's happiness makes me happy. It's cheesy, but it's true. Nothing gives my heart a little flutter more than my son's smile. His achievements make me happy. When he learns something new, I celebrate with him. That all said, I'm also really happy when I get to spend time alone. Because my job as Little Man's mother is so demanding, I get great joy when I can escape my job for a few minutes or a few hours or (gasp!) even an entire weekend. Scrapbooking weekends away with my friends make me REALLY happy. I'm admitting to this because it's the truth and I think it's hard sometimes for moms (especially special needs moms) to admit that they get happiness from somewhere other than their children. It's important to let moms know that it's OK to be happy away from your child(ren).

Do you have some favourite websites you'd like to share with the readers?

My own: http://goodmum.wordpress.com/
http://sensoryprocessingdisorder.com/
http://sensory-processing-disorder.com/
http://goodfountain.wordpress.com/
http://pancakesgoneawry.blogspot.com/
http://threechannels.com/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've emailed several interviews to bloggers and haven't recieved replies in a few days. So for now this could be the last interview until I recieve something else. So for now, we'll return to the regular boring blogging.

Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends!
And Happy Birthday Pea of PEA'S CORNER. She's having a tea party, won't you stop by and wish her a happy day? Poor dear has to share her birthday with a turkey!