I looked out my window yesterday morning and saw the frost on the ground.
I quickly grabbed my camera and ran outside to take a photo.
As I felt the chill of the frozen grass touch my feet I thanked whomever for giving me the life I do have.
I know people who cannot have this experience.
Some would who would want to?
I wanted to.
Never did I feel more alive than being chilled.
I could feel the grass under my toes as the cold started to spread under my feet and up my legs.
Then I came in.
I looked back and saw where I had placed my feet.
It screamed to me You were here!
And I thought to myself for whatever reason I exist.
I matter.
I went to the Urgent Care this morning to figure out what's going on with this cough that wouldn't go away. I have bronchitis and an ear infection. I'm on antibiotics for 10 days plus TWO bronchodialators. It will be nice to breathe well again. I also discretely asked the physician for something to sleep because the insomnia was really wearing me down. Thankfully I have a temporary solution to help me sleep for now. How does one say thank you without sounding like a broken record. I can't believe the kindness you leave through comments. I've read each one at least twice. This bout of depression did not come on suddenly but has slowly always been there, just some days I'm better at being in denial about it. I am going to get the help I need in whatever form I can find it. It's amazing how just blogging a little about it has helped. Also talking with others helps me to put things in perspective. I have a long way to go but at least I'm putting the first foot forward. And yes I'll wear shoes and socks from now on.
9 comments:
Laura does matter and don't you ever forget it!!
PS.. I hate to sound like a mom but wear socks and shoes ok its getting cold out and I don't want you to get sicker and miss blogging!!
Get well Laura drink lots and get some rest too.
Diane
I hope you feel better soon.
I am really bad about putting shoes and socks on. I take out the trash barefoot, but this is Texas and it is hotter then the hinges of hell so I guess it doesn't matter that I have no shoes on. I miss frosty grass. I don't care to be in snow for to long though.
Keep your head up high and know that us in blogland love you bunches. I am so happy that I have gotten the chance to get to know you.
Yes, you do matter. And I love reading your blog. :)
I really like those photos, LJ. It'd be cool to have them framed in the same frame.
And, yes, you *do* matter.
Love, love, love the photo of the wonderful, warm impact you have on the earth.
Hi Laura just wondering how you are and if everything is ok.
Feel free to email me anytime ok!
diane.soroko@gmail.com
You can tell me anything I am a good listener I promise
Diane
Reading this put a huge smile on my face! You can be told a million times over that you matter but until you yourself know it and believe it *SIGH Not sure if I ever told you but you write beautifully! I am relieved to hear your feeling better. Even if it meant you had to go sock and shoeless to feel something real and appreciate it. The Depression demon can sneak up! you can only keep it at bay for so long. When you have it you can hold it back but it always shows it's ugly face when you least expect it. I know all about it. Unfortunately. Came by to check and see how you were. Why? cause you matter to me :)
I know this depression crap and it sucks sweaty donkey balls. It makes you think things that just aren't true and it's an awful, awful thing. I'm glad you're getting some help. It's not easy, taking that first step, but once you get on the path, the way becomes smoother.
I love the photos. I don't think you could have illustrated it better.
I love this post and the title "I Matter" (yes you do!) and the symbolism with the footprints.
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