1--For my blog readers would you mind telling us a little about who you are and how you became a parent of a special needs child?
I'm a 41-year-old wife and mother of two. My son, Heath, who just turned 10, is my first born. He rides the fence between High Functioning Autism and Aspergers Syndrome, He has characteristics of both.
As a Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist, I treated many children on the autism spectrum. I was even working in a private school for severely autistic teenagers when I was pregnant with Heath. I knew from the time he was 3 1/2 that he exhibited similar behaviors. Right before he turned 5, the behaviors got so severe that we decided to take him to Children's Hospital in Washington DC for an evaluation. I already knew what the outcome of the evaluation would be, but it was a bit of a blow for my husband. That started us down the road of therapies, diets, supplements, and specialists.
2--Would you mind describing the bond between your two children?
My son is the boy who made me a mother. He is also the child who required that I stand up to those who questioned his diagnosis and my methods of dealing with it. I don't think I ever exhibit more confidence, determination, or clearheadedness than I do when it comes to fighting for him. That is a gift he has given me. I see a lot of myself in him, and sometimes we drive each other crazy. There is no doubt that he is my child!
My daughter will soon be 8. Every single day I marvel that she came from me. I honestly can't figure out how I gave birth to such a wonderful creature. So beautiful, funny, social, talented, intelligent...all of the things I wasn't as a child. She trusts me with her secrets, and we have a relationship I never had with my own mother. Jill is also very accommodating to her brother. They are wonderful friends, have the typical sibling squabbles, but she understands that he just can't control some things. It has made her much more accepting of other children who are "different."
3--What do you find the most difficult in dealing with your son's special needs?
I find it difficult that most people don't understand him or spectrum disorders. Autism isn't something you can SEE. It isn't obvious like other disabilities. I am often torn between just letting people make what they will of him, or telling them so that they might understand where he is coming from. I find that people are either charmed by him, or completely perplexed. When I meet the rare person who totally gets it...requires no explanation...it is such a relief.
4--Do you find it difficult to find adequate services for your son?
This is the first year that we have run into the difficulty of disagreeing with the school regarding how much support he needs. He is above grade level and placed in advanced classes, so they tend to overlook the areas in which he needs help. Additionally, the school system cut a para-educator position, so what little support he does get is inconsistent. It's a matter of red tape, and unfortunately, some of it just can't be fixed this year. We were very lucky in that all of the private services we ever sought were excellent, but as every family of a special needs child will tell you, it will devastate your finances.
5--What makes you happy? (I ask this question because I'm working on my own little Happiness Project http://www.happiness-project.
Friends and family, and achieving personal goals that I set for myself. Any time that I can just run my mouth with a friend or family member makes me happy. The times that my husband and I are alone and can laugh together are truly a treasure. As parents, we don't get the time or have the energy to really let loose very often.
The goals I set for myself are selfish. They are my escape, and my opportunity to prove myself to myself. To branch out and do things completely unexpected of me and succeed at them.
6--Do you have any websites you'd like to share?
I am ashamed to say that I do not. I stopped visiting websites and message boards a few years ago. I reached burnout, and needed to stop identifying myself primarily as a mother of an autistic child. I needed to find ME again. I started blogging instead, and my son's issues come up from time to time, but now it is just a part of who I am and who he is, and not the totality.
Thank you, Laura, for the opportunity for introspection. Yes, you can use Heath's picture. It's important to attach these stories to a real child.
~J~
2 comments:
My nephew has Aspberger's with a sensory integration disorder. My sister-in-law is constantly having to push the school system because he *is* in advanced classes, they tend to overlook giving him the support he needs.
Heath is a beautiful child and I'm glad your daughter is so understanding.
Thank you again, Laura, for this wonderful opportunity. :)
Post a Comment