35::52 Fridays

35::52 Fridays, originally uploaded by LauraJ_Sews.

I'm not sure if I'm mentioned that off and on since Aaron was born I've had outside help through programs that help parents of children with special needs. Once I became a single mother I didn't have the service for sometime as I adjusted to my new life mothering Aaron. Over time it got overwhelming caring for Aaron and being mostly housebound as well as trying to care for a home. The service was offered yet again for various reasons, to give me a break so I could get out and someone could occupy Aaron; helping with light housework and to help with Aaron's personal care. Then Aaron went to school and it became difficult to find anyone that could come during hours that would fit our needs. I mentioned something about my needs being different now that I was able to do Aaron's personal care and if it would be feasible to have someone to help me in the home. Someone was provided and it worked beautifully. I really liked this lady. After four years though the routine of Tuesdays and Thursdays started to get old and I started to feel embarrassed of having someone coming in to help with housework that I was fully capable of doing. Things evolved that we spent more time out and about shopping and less time at home. Which meant not much got done in the home as I was too tired to do it and too embarrassed to have her do anything. Usually she would take summers off because she had younger children. By this summer they'd gotten to the point where they could be home alone for a few hours while she came in to do whatever it was that she did, mostly it was folding clothes.

In early August she took a week off and went on a schedualed family vacation. I sat one Tuesday morning waiting for her to come and watching the clock tick 1 hr late, 2 hrs late and wondering where she was. I'd tried her home several times. I tried her parents and they said she was on vacation. I was confused, I thought she was coming in. An hour later her boss called me to inform me that she wasn't coming back to work here, that something had happened at my house between her and I and she was done. I was heartbroken and terribly sad. I thought she was a friend. Friends don't do stuff like that!

For two days I worried about what grave event caused her to quit. What did I do to make her not want to come back? I know I have a big mouth and I racked my brain wondering what I could have said to make her quit so abruptly without warning. I tried calling the boss and she was either busy or "didn't know". After great advice from several REAL friends I mustered up the energy to give her a call. With my heart heavy and my head full of wondering I asked her what happened. Her reply was: "You're too insulting". We continued to talk for 10 minutes after that.

Being the thinker I am I mulled over her words for a day or so. I had to understand what she meant . First I looked up the word insulting:

According to Merriam Webster online:
insulting: to treat with insolence, indignity, or contempt : affront; also : to affect offensively or damagingly

I thought that over and from my understanding it means someone who has the intent to hurt someone else's feelings. This is not me. This is not what I stand for in my life. My life motto is "Never make a person feel less than who they are."

She gave me examples of times I had been "insulting" in the past year which I wont write out because they were far from my definition of insulting. With nothing left to do but to learn from the situation, and believe you me I took from this several lessons: be careful who I trust and to be more mindful of my words, just in case.

As a defense I'd like to point out that I live in a very French area of Canada. There is a saying that goes like this: Lost in translation. I believe that the differences she had with me had to do with our different cultural and language upbringings. Let it be known that French and English have two very different senses of humor.

All that to say that is what brought me to this weeks Friday Photo. For 1 month I have been responsible for my own home and getting to and from where I need to go. The first thing I did was went out and got a new mop and bucket. I vowed to take control of my house cleaning skills and stay on top of things. I was offered a replacement worker but chose not to at this time. After many years of having someone in the home I want to go it alone for a while. I want to know what it is like having Monday to Friday 8 am to 3:20 pm to myself.

After a month it's amazing how clean my home is, how much more responsible I feel, how much more pride I am taking in the little things. The first week I cleaned, purged and reorganized 5 closets!! The second week I somewhat established a routine for the week.

My goal once Aaron goes back to school is finding a routine that works for me. Doing different household tasks on different days. I'd love to know how you do it. Even blog it for me if you'd oblige me.

This is way more wordy than I usually am but it's an accomplishment for me. I didn't wallow in self pity or feel like a victim I just stayed calm and carried on. I keep in mind often that these are little things. That regardless of one person's opinion of me it doesn't change the opinions of the many others who do know me. Also the most important thing is that Aaron is healthy anything beyond that is just small stuff. Which brings me to Aaron's moment of the week:



Thursday afternoon I had all his stuff for school by the door and ready for Tuesday! I told you I'm keeping on top of this house-stuff! The more I'm on top of it all the more I get to find time to play. Aaron also got a little hair trim for school as well. Now we just need a bus. He's not ready but I certainly am!!

Thanks for all the comments regarding last post's quilt! There's still time to enter the giveaway!