Day 2: Blogging 31 for 21 ::Tricia::

ooops it's Day 2...

Yesterday I questioned myself as to what did I get myself into?? Just what was I thinking when I said I could do 31 interviews in 31 days? ACK. Okay so if you recommend a mama of a special needs child that would like to be interviewed would you point them in this direction please? So far I have 10 interviews for the next 10 days...I'm gonna need some more! And send your friends here too!

Okay mini freak out is over.

Onto the next interview: Please welcome Tricia of Unringing The Bell

For my blog readers would you mind telling a little about who you are and how you became a parent of a special needs child?
Honestly, my first instinct is to reply "the old fashioned way," but of course I don't mean to be rude! It's just my (mildly) humorous way of saying that Georgia was conceived, labored, and is being parented by myself and her father (well, I did MOST the laboring) because she was born to us. I talk a lot on my blog about the fact that we had SOME prenatal testing during pregnancy during which time we knew we had "high odds" for having a child with DS, but we did not have a CVS or amnio-. Instead, we chose the "wait and see" approach making sure to read up a lot of Down syndrome. At her birth—or approximately 4 minutes after I pushed her out into the world—I realized she most likely DID have DS and my husband agrees that it was about that time that he realized it as well. The rest, as they say, is history.

What do you know about parenting now that you didn't know when you first started out?
Sometimes I think it's more about finding out just what I DON'T know now or DIDN'T know then. Of course there are all the typical things like the fact that holy cow! This is a heckuva lot of work, they weren't kidding! And I miss sleep—you know, the kind where you go to bed when you want and wake up when you want and not because your child is whining away in the next room. Even on weekends when my lovely husband takes over "baby duty" so I can get a little extra shut-eye I am typically awoken by the sounds of banging toys.
But more than that…the extensiveness of the love you feel for this little being. And the responsibility. I didn't know having gone through some of Georgia's earlier healthy complications (i.e. heart surgery) that I could ever live through something like that.

From reading your blog you are expecting your second child soon. How are you preparing mentally and emotionally going from a 3 person household to 4?
The long and the short of it is: I don't know! I mean, of course we're working on the practical issues (fixing up the nursery, dragging the old supplies up from the basement, making sure we have childcare coverage for Georgia (or trying to) for when I go into labor), but otherwise I think mostly our preparation comes in late evening conversations that go something like this:
Me: I can't believe we're about to have another little booger running around soon.
Alex: No kidding! What were we thinking??
Me: I have NO idea.
Surely, I jest. Sort of. But this is also kind of the reality. I really don't know HOW to prepare for it. We're just going to sort of go with the flow. Of course (though we didn't do any testing with this pregnancy and this child may very well be atypical) our friends who have a first child with DS and then have a typical child have all told us stories about JUST HOW DIFFERENT (and much harder in many cases) it is to have a typical child second. I am seriously considering buying the book "What To Expect The First Year"*because I have NO IDEA what to expect in a typically-developing child. But I suppose I am superstitious and we'll just wait and see how "typical" the little guy is.

What are your hopes and fears for Georgia's future?
I honestly don't know if there is enough space on the entire internet to answer this question. I have every hope that Georgia will be successful—but to me, that means a lot of different things. I am not the sort of person to really look too far ahead. And for any of my kids, while I certainly think there are some paths that are deemed "more successful" than others, I don't think I have many wishes for them other than that they attain some level of happiness and some level of self-sufficiency. I am not the sort to push college unless it's what makes sense and what my child wants. If my kid grows up and wants to be a crazy artist or musician, I am fine with that. I just want them to do whatever it is they want to do to the best of their ability. And, you know, try not to get arrested—unless it's for a good reason like standing up for something they believe in.
Is that evasive enough????
Of course I get scared for Georgia's future in particular. I hope everyday that I live long enough to help her for as long as she needs me. Like I said, I hope she attains a certain level of independence. I've considered (fantasized, partly for my own selfish reasons) about starting a business or organization where she might be able (and hopefully interested in) working. These run the gamut from art school to candy store.
So yeah…the future is a tough one for me. I have to consult my crystal ball on that one!
Fears: huh. I suppose one of my biggest fears is that she will be rejected and that this will work its way into how she perceives herself.

What makes you happy? (I ask this question because I'm working on my own little Happiness Project http://www.happiness-project.com/ --I'm hoping to gain a little insight into my own happiness through other's reasons for what brings them happiness.)
I'd love to hear the results of your study and will check out the website. I am constantly trying to figure this out and attain it. I think, maybe, the BEST way to attain happiness is to NOT try so hard, and that is my biggest problem. I TRY to be happy. Instead, I think, if I am ever going to be truly happy I need to learn to live in the moment a little more.
To be more specific though, I am happiest when I am with my family and not tired and nobody is whining and we are doing something simple, like sitting in the grass or on the beach or strolling around maybe kicking up fall leaves. I also REALLY ENJOY swimming. And being busy in general. Being busy—even if it's being busy working—helps give me perspective. Then the walks are that much sweeter. Is that too hokey? Nope! Not at all.

Do you have any wonderful websites we should be exploring?
Yep! I have an entire list of them on my blog! All the bloggers who have signed up for 31 for 21!!!! You can read Tricia's blog at Unringing the bell

All pictures courtesy of Trica and Geordia.

Such a beautiful little girl!
Thank you!!

Reading about this book brought back a memory for me when Aaron was a wee baby. I had this book and pored myself over it religiously. Around month 4 when I realized that my baby wasn't typical I got rid of the book.


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As I was reading some blogs yesterday I came across a comment for a post that I won't mention here, but suffice it to say the comment was quite offensive to me. I have a question for my dear readers out there: If your child asks why a person is in a wheelchair how do you respond?