This little Self Portrait Friday project is becoming quite interesting. My goal is to learn to see through the superficialness of my outer appearance and learn to love what makes up me.
The first challenge of any SPF is choosing the right photo. I take anywhere from 10 to 50+ photos trying to find that one that conveys the message that I want to speak that day. Today I took about 50 photos and this was number 49. I chose this particular photo over all the rest because it was different than my usual photos.
I was born with a difference in my skeletal makeup. As I grew this difference become more and more aparent. My parents saw my differences and made me aware of them for a very long time. Going to school was not any easier. I was seen as a freak all throughout school from kindergarten-little kids went to sit on the other side of the classroom because they didn't want to sit next to me-to highschool-in the 12th grade I had spitballs spat upon me almost daily from stupid kids sitting behind me. 12th grade! You'd think they'd know enough by that age not to do shit like that??!! (It made me sad to read the story in the news about the young highschool student who was litterally bullied to death. That was me at 14 years old. I'm thankful I didn't die. Most days that's how I feel.)
I had an aha moment when I was 18 years old. I cut my hair very short. My parents were none too pleased and their first comment was " Oh No! Your 'bump' will show."
I mustered up the courage to tell my parents that "I'm still the same person with short or long hair." I was realizing that I was more than my appearance. 18 years later I try to remember that I am so much more than my apparent difference.
I think what I need to learn through this process od these SPFs is to be proud of who I am. Pride at how far I've come in life from the sad little girl who wanted to end it to the woman who uses her two long arms and two long legs to share her stories with those who will listen.
Here is another photo to smile and thank you for the wonderful comments you leave in my blog. You are all amazing people that I wish lived in my neighbourhood. It's amazing how you can bring tears to my eyes even though you've never met me face to face. I cherish all of your kind words and wise words of wisdom. This is what gives me strength to face each day head on despite the many emotional and physical challenges I go through just being me.
xo
15 comments:
I'm so glad the project is working for you!
Please know that we cherish you and your comments just as much as you cherish ours! Seriously, I look forward to your posts and even though there are miles between us, I am thankful to call you my friend. Who cares if we've never met in person? And girl, I am jealous of the long legs. Jealous. :)
Your post is beautiful, just like you are.
I just started quilting again so have not been aware till lately of the vast quilting community. I tripped across your blog and read with interest of your son. I am originally from the State of Maine so used to live close by to you in a sense. My husband is from NB and I met him there in Bible school. I admire your courage to talk about the very personal physical,emotional challenges you face. One of my dearest friends has I think what is called Vators syndrome and was born with many physical anomolies. I think you would really admire the way she faces her differences. Please continue to listen to the positive voices in your life. They are right....you are beautiful.
What a great post! I'm glad you're finding the picture project so healing.
Laura,
Where is "your neighbourhood?". Not too literally, of course, since this is still the stalker-net...but where do you live? Canada or US?
Brenda
Wonderful and inspiring post! Thank you for sharing your story, you are an inspiration!
You inspiring brillant woman and mama! thanks for a post that reminds us all whats important.
You are beautiful:) love fi xo
I found your post through another crafter on twitter.
What an inspiration you are. My brother was born with Downs Syndrome so I am well versed in how cruel children and sometimes society can be.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story.
I also found your post through twitter. Your story brings tears to my eyes (kids can be so cruel). I can't even imagine the challenges you have to face each day. I think your are very courageous and a source of inspiration for others!
Just dropped by to say Hello !
Laura your unique just as we all are.
You have wonderful talents that most of us admire.
Smile and the world smiles back !
Take care
Diane
I'm so sorry for what you went through as a child, not only from other insensitive kids, but from your parents as well.
You are a strong person Laura, and a wonderful mother! I greatly admire you! you are beautiful inside and out, and believe me, it shows through in your blog posts!
I love pic #49...there is something so serene about it.
We may not have met in person, but I'm proud to call you 'friend'! :)
I think being a kid is so tough as it is without any extra issues to face. What a lovely positive post (although it did make me sad at the start). X
I'm a grandma now, and I see through people's outer and know that it is the inner that makes someone beautiful...and YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
My mom just passed away 2 weeks ago, and I was embarrassed because I have gained so much weight over the years, but then I thought why did I care. If my relatives love me, it is me they love, and not my weight. If they don't really have it in them to see the real me, then I've not lost anything anyways. I love them, and I know that I stand before God with what is IN ME. You love yourself Laura, and we will all love you too! That is what I've learned!
Dear Laura,
I can't say anything that have not already been said here. I can only say again, how much I admire your strength & creativity. My 12 yr old son is in the hospital right now (from a broken arm) & I think of how lucky we are. I wish you happiness & health always. Hugs from across the ocean, in Tokyo.
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